My apologies to Drew Carey…

It seems that I have inadvertently inflicted plentiful amounts of mirth upon those around me this weekend. Lots of snickers and snarky comments have been directed at me…and this all from just within my own home. For only the second time in 35 years, I removed all my facial hair. My cat even did a double take.
The reason for inflicting the sight of my entire face on my loved(?) ones was picture day for the fall play at the Opera House. The play is about four clean-cut gentlemen from the early 1960s, and so the three of us members of the cast with goatees “took one for the team” and shaved off our rugged manliness. I’ve heard rumblings that John and Tim are also taking a bit of heat on the home front for their naked chins.
Some of the early electronic publicity went out last night by email and on Facebook. The combination of the barren face and the horn-rimmed glasses I wear in the publicity shots have drawn comparisons to the visage of Drew Carey. The people making these comparisons are kind enough not to add…“a larger, more out-of-shape, older Drew Carey.”
I did the dirty deed Sunday morning. You can imagine my surprise when, during the process, it became more and more apparent that I had discovered a third chin. In addition, the whisker removal left a mysterious red patch on the left side. I had either inflicted a nasty razor burn, or it was evidence that something had taken up residence in my mustache over the past three and a half decades.
As I mentioned, this is the second time since high school that I went crazy with my razor. The last time was three or four years ago. After three or four days of ridicule from my wife and kid, I scrapped the project and grew it back. This time, when Lindsay saw me, an actual audible gasp escaped her mouth…followed by “oh my God,” and then hysterical laughter. Very subtle.
Reaction from outside my home has been all over the place. Anywhere from “oh my, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without facial hair,” to an obvious discomfort. They will talk to me while continually trying to pull their gaze from my chin and pretend not to notice. A couple of them welled up with tears, turned, and ran.
Since “Forever Plaid” won’t close until October 10th, my facial nudity will be hanging around for awhile. I encourage you, if you run into me, to avert your eyes…if you can. It is hard to do. I also think that probably looking at me through smoked glass helps.
In the meantime, I’ll try to put you all at ease by saying I don’t mind the laughs…or the gasps either for that matter.
And on the bright side, maybe it will give me a chance to clear up whatever that red patch is above my lip.
*****
My good friend and favorite kitty continues to fight his health issues. Joe is nearly back to his old self, eating and drinking and waking me up in the mornings, but he still struggles to breathe and it is hard to watch. We are working with Drs. Johnson and Nielsen to try to make the fluid in his chest cavity go away. The x-rays are depressing, seeing that mass of fluid taking up the space where his lungs are supposed to be. Despite his quick short gasps of breath, he has been a brave young trooper, handling the situation with a great disposition. I hope he is rewarded with a happy ending.

Yes Noelle, I’m blogging about my cat…

A few random ramblings this week…
First, thanks to all who came to see “Chicago” at the Opera House and of course to all who were involved. It was the 25th play I’ve directed at the theater, and my favorite so far. Plays--for directors--are kind of like children. You love them all. This “child,” however, caused me less stress than all that came before. The kid that was “High School Musical” a couple of years ago, on the other hand, nearly had me considering alcoholism as a life choice.
Much of the responsibility for staving off hypertension this summer was due to the extraordinary talent of the cast, top to bottom. The fact that we had a remarkable orchestra making those jazzy 1920s songs come alive was a bonus.
The remainder of the responsibility for my low stress level can be directly traced to a handful of people who pitched in and helped in a number of areas: Greg and Carol Mensen, Curt Madsen, Lynn Carpenter, Kathy Johnson and Stacey Voit. They participated in a lot of the heavy lifting involved in the weeks leading up to Opening Night. I can't possibly thank them enough…
*****
Kathy, Lindsay and I, along with some good friends, took a Southwest Tours bus to the Twin Cities on Saturday to the Orpheum Theater. We were able to see a remarkable traveling Broadway production of “Wicked,” a show that is billed as a prequel to “The Wizard of Oz.” It is the story that tells of Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West before the tornado. I’ve always loved the soundtrack and now I finally was able to see the play. It was amazing in both performance and special effects. It was a production that could not even be spoiled by the 700 steps I climbed to get to my seat and the seven inches of legroom in front of my seat.
*****
We are awfully worried about our favorite kitty in the Wilmes house. The life of my cat, Joe, has been well-documented in newspaper column and blog over the past few years. He has struggled his entire life with an auto-immune issue that causes the pads on his front paws to swell. This has required us to mix prednisone in his food over the past many months…nasty tasting stuff.
Apparently that isn’t enough hardship in his life.
In recent days, Kathy and I noticed his breathing had started to become labored. Just relaxing, he would breath in short rapid gasps. After a 2-1/2 hour trip to the vet on Wednesday, we still aren’t sure of the cause. X-rays revealed that his lungs are collapsing and his chest is filled with fluid. So filled, in fact, that the fluid cloaked his heart from the x-rays. I now am charged with giving him twice daily shots to try to clear up the fluid enough to be able to see his heart. A blood test revealed elevated enzyme levels in his kidneys, but we aren’t sure if that is due to the fluid issue or the other way around.
It is amazing how a silly pet can become such a part of your lives. I worry about him nearly as much as any human member of my family and I can hardly push my worry over his health far from my thoughts these days. Hang in there, Joe…
*****
After more than a six-year absence, I am returning to the stage this fall. I opted out of directing the fall play so I could get a short break and actually spend some time at home. So what did I do? I hired a director who proceeded to talk me into actually being in the play. Yeah, I’m not all that smart.
So…opening on September 30th at the Opera House will be “Forever Plaid.” I’ll be playing the part of Jinx. On the bright side, I’ll be able to prove my theory that after 50 years old, you can’t memorize anything longer than a phone number. Yikes.

Just when you thought I forgot about you…

Hello everyone. Yes, it has been awhile since you have heard from me…and I should warn you that this could rapidly deteriorate in to a whiny blog. A “whog” if you will.
First, however, I will start with the positive. The reason I haven’t been wasting my time sitting around at home blogging (or whogging) is about to come to a close. I have spent most of my evenings with a delightful group of people who came together back at the beginning of June with a single goal—bringing the musical “Chicago” to the stage of the Lake Benton Opera House. Yes, for the past 16-17 years I have given in to my girlie-man propensity for getting involved in Community Theater. This year was no different.
As a director it is hard to pick favorite plays I’ve done over the years…each had different qualities. Each year I have expended a blog or a newspaper column telling you reasons you should come and see the show. This year I will make a statement that I’ve never made before…this is the best show I’ve ever directed. I should qualify that pronouncement with the following disclaimer, however: The reasons that this is the best show I’ve ever directed do not include anything I have done. It was just my good fortune to draw a cast, crew and orchestra that came together to create a remarkable final product.
From the biggest parts played by Audrey Bloemendaal, Ashley Vogt, Adam Madsen, Brad Nupen and Sara Vogt to the smallest parts played by Amy Wyatt, Brock Nelson, Carrie Schwing, Alan Riedel and Sandy Hanson, I was the beneficiary of top notch performances. I am always impressed when an actor with a bit part will do everything in his or her powers to make their own 90 seconds of stage time memorable.
The choreography created by Ms. Bloemendaal (pictured [l.] with Ashley Vogt [r.])is wonderful. That she pulled it off while playing one of the lead characters is just short of freakish.
When Stacey Voit of Ghent agreed to participate I knew we would have a splendid orchestra, and I again was not disappointed.
We still have six performances…Aug. 4-7 there will be shows at 7:30 PM…Aug. 7-8 there will be shows at 2:00 PM. That Saturday show, incidentally, is our Senior Citizens special, with tickets reduced for seniors by $2.50, to $10.00.
Don’t go anywhere just yet…I still have my special whining portion…
Each year the summer musical takes up a lot of my time, but the satisfaction I receive in return more than makes up for the busyness. It is when the Big Guy decides he needs to throw me a few curves that things get difficult.
“Let’s see, how can we mess with Mark this year?”
In past years most of my undue stress was provided by my career as a newspaper editor. Naturally, since my Great Emancipation from the newspaper business over a year ago, something else had to take over in the “messin’ with me” department. This year it was my first-ever summer cold. Somehow, on July 3rd, I came down with some chest cold issues. Three types of medication and an inhaler later, I’m still fighting with the cough. There was a stretch of 60 hours last week where I got a grand total of about three hours of sleep. It was timed perfectly with the days leading up to opening night. To say that I was in a fog is an understatement.
I’m now on the inhaler, as well as prednisone, which coincidentally is the same stuff we have to give our cat, Joe for his odd affliction of being allergic to himself. I now know why he doesn’t really appreciate the taste of his food on the mornings we mix in one of his little steroid pills. I can’t get mine swallowed fast enough to keep the nasty taste out of my mouth.
It will be worth it if it helps. I really hope to one day again be able to sleep lying down. In addition, I’m very close to being voted out of the house and into the garage at night by my frustrated family.
So it has been a difficult run this year. Add in a Relay for Life event in July, and enough rain to give my lawn a lush quality that begs to be mowed every four days and my life is full. I would guess if I were to get creative, most of this stuff could be blamed on the Obama administration.
Or maybe BP.
The lawn got so out-of-hand before the end of the week last week that one of our neighbors graciously mowed it for me. He said to consider it his donation to the arts. Thanks Rick…
Oh…one more whine…does anyone else feel like they are breathing pudding when they step outside?
OK, thanks for letting me get that out of my system.
“How else can I, a reader of Mark’s blog help lift his spirits?” you ask.
Come see the show. I will absolutely assure you that you will enjoy the performance, and in the process, you will make a small donation to the Opera House that will help keep it healthy and a contributor to the quality of our life here in southwestern Minnesota.
Need more convincing? You can check out the pictures and a video on the Opera House Facebook page at www.facebook.com/lakebentonoperahouse. You do not have to be a Facebook member to see it.