It might as well be spring…

Things are starting to look a bit brighter these days. The weather is supposed to give us a bit of relief this week. This is good, because my SUV needs washing desperately, and I’m tired of buffing it one spot at a time with my coat when I repeatedly underestimate my personal width as I walk by.
Another reason I find my excitement level spiking is that American Idol is finally getting down to business as they trimmed to the top 20 this week. I always think I’m safer proclaiming my love for the show in a blog so I don’t have to be scoffed at by some of you in person. I find that it doesn’t help, however, as I can still visualize some of you rolling your eyes at the mention of the show. I used to think the same thing…before I ever watched it, of course. I imagine that being a musician for most of my life helps draw me to the show. The added drama of becoming emotionally attached to some of these fledgling stars makes it downright addicting. This year has some extra spice, as Ellen DeGeneres has replaced Paula “What did she just say?” Abdul on the judges’ panel, and last year’s newcomer to the show, Kara DioGuardi gets all flushed whenever contestant Casey James performs. He will win the votes of millions of females during the competition…oh yeah, and he can sing also. I’ll be the first to admit that even I think the guy is good looking…not a judgment I normally make with males. If there is a downside, it would be that at this point in the competition the show is on for an unwieldy five hours per week. I still encourage you to give it a chance from here on out…I can’t imagine that the show wouldn’t melt even the coldest of hearts.
Of course anyone who has even remotely known me over the course of my life knows that one of my greatest joys in life is following the Minnesota Twins. You may want to reserve a spot on the bandwagon this year. They are going to be HOT! If, that is, they can find the new Target Field under all that snow by April. They have plugged a couple of holes in the lineup this year, and I’m excited that with spring training gearing up, I get Twins news EVERY DAY in the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
My tinglyness is nearly maxed out by the fact that coming up the first weekend of March is the annual Wilmes Family Board Game weekend in the Cities. Tune in next week to learn more, as this year’s event has an exciting twist…
I want to thank all the people who responded to last week’s blog about being happy by blog post, Facebook and email. Who knew there would be that many of you out there that are as passionate about the subject as I am…
Lending even MORE credence to my plea to spread happiness were a couple of guests on Minnesota Public Radio on Wednesday. Interviewed were Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler, authors of “Connected.” The book goes into great detail about how contagious an individual’s mood can be. One happy person can affect an entire network of friends and family in a positive way, just by being happy. One sad and depressing person can pull an entire household and environs in the other direction. Happiness breeds happiness people! Go out and infect someone this week!
And what the heck…do it without a coat!!!

I’m no Bobby McFerrin, but…

I am happy that Paula Abdul is no long on “American Idol.”
There. That was easy. Within about five seconds of my asking myself, “why should I be happy?” I came up with a great reason. One of my favorite shows (scoff if you must, “American Idol” has all the excitement and emotion you could reasonably expect in a reality show) no longer makes me sit through long and incoherent critiques of burgeoning musicians twice a week from January through April by Ms. Abdul.
Happiness…it is all I am asking for the remainder of my days.
Happiness.
Happiness seems to be more elusive than I would have imagined. As I’ve mentioned, I spend some time on Facebook, and a few hundred people’s random thoughts scrolling through my “live feed.”
So many seem to be unhappy every day of his or her life.
I am happy that I was not born in Haiti.
I have people who are close to me who are unhappy way too much. I go on ad nauseam about how an unhappy minute is a wasted minute.
Everyone has adversity in his or her life. It is how quickly you shake it off and move on that can be the deal-breaker on living an awesome life. Of course, the older a person gets, the more that person thinks about those things. I can’t waste my life on being unhappy. Every time I see an “I hate my life” post, I fight the urge to intervene…despite the fact that it is probably none of my business.
I am happy that Minnesota downhill skiing Olympian Lindsey Vonn posed in a swimsuit for Sports Illustrated.
I always preach that you can’t count on your friends or your family or your hair stylist or your cat (well, maybe your cat) for your own happiness. You can only count on yourself. Your day…or week…or life…is what you make of it.
Some days are diamonds and some days are horse manure. You can’t change that. Sometimes you have to dig through a little horse manure before you can find that diamond…and unfortunately, more often than not, you’ll never find the diamond.
If you expend much of your energy on making yourself happy, what you get from others is just gravy, baby.
I am happy when I think about gravy.
I haven’t perfected my theory yet. I still let people bring me down once in awhile, but I do my best to fix the problem quickly and move on. We’ve all had people try to steal our happiness at some point in our lives. Sometimes it is intentional and life-changing…won’t mention any names…but usually it is unintentional, and we tend to make it a bigger deal than it really is. Sometimes people leave us for reasons we don’t understand, and sometimes people are taken from us before their time, for reasons we don’t understand.
I am happy I don’t have cancer.
Unhappiness seems to strike the young and the old more readily. Everything in many a young person’s life is played out with steep mountains and deep valleys. OMG!!! I THINK HE LIKES ME! OMG!!! MY HEART IS BROKEN!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!! WHY IS MILEY CYRUS SUCH A SLUT???!!! I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! I HATE THAT SCHOOL IS CLOSED AGAIN TOMORROW…WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO SNOW!!! OMG TAYLOR LAUTNER IS CUTE!!!
Of course old people’s version of this would be something like, “get off my lawn you rotten kids!...” or “I ordered these eggs over easy!!!” or “Obama is a Nazi.”
I am happy with the feeling I get when my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I’m sure I’ve had my drama queen moments in my life, but I’m doing my best to curtail my future unhappiness. I refuse to grow into an unhappy old man…and if that annoys some of you…I’m not sorry.
Need a dose of happiness right now? Here, for those of you old enough to have seen the movie “The Jerk,” I’d like to remind you of one of my favorite movie quotes…
Well I'm gonna go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle ball game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball game. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
Oh, I forgot to mention you have to picture Steve Martin saying this with his pants around his ankles.
Never saw the movie? Go to iTunes and download The Beatles’ “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.” If that bouncy little song doesn’t just naturally elevate your mood, then you should seek professional help.
It’s easy to make yourself happy.
Research says (yeah, like anyone is going to check my sources) that it actually takes less effort and is easier on your body to be happy. It even has healing powers. Look at me…I’m proof that laughter keeps you healthy! (Don’t tell Aetna I said that.)
We’re in times when it seems like the entire country is angry and pointing fingers and shouting.
Dial it down a couple of notches for Heaven’s sake.
I am happy there is a Charlize Theron…and you would be too if you just saw the picture that came up when I Googled her name to make sure it was spelled correctly.
If you promise to be a little nicer to everyone in the future, I won’t print the words to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” here…although sorry I just put the song in your head.
Over half my life is most certainly gone, and by golly I plan on making the best of what’s left.
And all I need is a daily dose of happiness…oh, and well, I need my remote control.
But that’s all I need… :)

What are you looking here for?

You know what? If you are 52 years old and you don’t feel like doing your homework, you shouldn’t have to, right?
Right.
With that, I give you my Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Doing A Blog This Week…
10. I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact “Glee” won’t be back on the air until April.
9. Spending all my time looking for the perfect Valentine’s gift for the love of my life. You wouldn’t believe how many kitty toys there are out there!
8. Frankly, I’m still a bit woozy, and more than a little star struck after watching Sarah Palin’s teleprompter-free Tea Party speech.
7. Hello! Hollywood week on American Idol!!!!!!
6. Just never seem to have enough time to read my Tyler Tribute.
5. Wanted to do a blog on my cat, but didn’t want to give Noelle an opportunity to make fun of me.
4. It’s my annual “try-to-suck-all-the-Dorito-crumbs-out-of-my-computer-keyboard” week.
3. I tweaked a tendon on my “P” finger.
2. Can’t stop laughing when I use the term “P” finger.
And the number one Top Ten Reason I’m Not Doing A Blog This Week…
1. Spend all my time online trying to find Lady Gaga’s dress from the Grammy’s for Kathy.

Join us, we’re waiting for you…

Any of you who have read this claptrap over the past few years could have surmised that I have an addiction to
A.) Movies
B.) Television
C.) Gadgets
D.) Computers
E.) All of the above
Unfortunately, I have Best Buy tastes on a thrift store budget.
I still manage to get by, however. I communicate with others on my cell phone. I spend my day at the office working on a computer…okay, actually two computers. I listen to my iPod on the way home, where I turn on my computer and check my email before allowing my Facebook buddies to entertain me. I take a short supper break before returning to my home office. Some evenings I have photography or video work to do. If not, I will park my ample fanny (um, hi Jeff) in front of my computer anyway, and while Kathy is watching something on Bravo or Lifetime in another area of the house, I watch a movie or fire up Hulu.com and try to get caught up on The Daily Show or sometimes just make sure my computers are updated with virus protection or the hard drives are healthy.
Finally, before bed I go “old school” and do some reading, then I roll over to sleep…with the TV on, of course.
If I weren’t expected to contribute to the financial health of our household, I really would seldom have a reason to leave the house.
I have a freezer full of ground beef, after all.
Human interaction? I have too much already. Sometimes people call me while I’m entertaining myself on my laptop!
I have a wife and daughter with whom to interact. When they get tired of interacting with me, I always have my online community. Facebook is perfect for me. I don’t have to speak to anyone in person, I can keep in touch daily with friends, past and present, old and young. I highly recommend it to everyone. Many who have told me they didn’t have any desire to join Facebook over the past years, enjoy it more than he or she expected when they finally give in. You can participate as much or little as you want. You can share as much or little as you want.
I am able to enjoy news stories or videos recommended to me by my friends, advertise for the Opera House and upload videos and photos to share with my family and friends, and enjoy the same uploaded by them. I can communicate with others, investing a total of about 20 seconds, and then move on. No 15-minute conversations for me. If they reply to my communication within a week or two, that is no problem. If they ignore me, that is fine also.
Sometimes it is just fun to post something controversial, and watch people post comments and argue about it for a few hours.
There are friends from whom I have never seen a post, and there are friends who seemingly post something every five minutes. I probably ignore 98% of the posts that come up on my live feed. I can’t believe there are a million Facebook groups out there, and some of you feel the need to join them all. Groups like “If 1 Million People Join This Group, Taylor Swift Will Stop Singing.” Yeah right.
I have my favorite posters among my friends...usually people who make me laugh or keep me informed. You know who you are.
Since it is already too late to turn back on one of the least interesting blogs I’ve ever composed, I’ll give you a little taste of the gripping stuff you can find on FB…
Direct from my site…(drum roll)
Here are 25 random things about Mark:
1. I created the "Rhumba."
2. Sometimes I wake up at night and think the monkey from the Taco Bell commercials is watching me sleep.
3. The keys to my backyard shed are in the upper left drawer of my computer desk.
4. When nobody is around I put butter on my pizza.
5. I love butter.
6. I'm forced to watch TV at home on a 26" screen.
7. Sometimes when I burp, other stuff comes up with it.
8. I am the (illegitimate) child of Red Skelton and Totie Fields.
9. I watched The View once when I was in the hospital.
10. My middle name is Alice.
11. Sometimes when I do the moonwalk on carpet, my socks come off.
12. I think Iowa is creepy.
13. When I was very young, I didn't know that the "k" in unknown is silent.
14. For some reason "Kokomo" is going through my head right now.
15. In kindergarten I was in love with Valerie Gravley.
16. When I was a senior, I was in love with Valerie Gravley.
17. I watched "Ellen" once when I was in the hospital.
18. I just got a new cell phone.
19. I don't believe I have ever "skipped" while walking.
20. For a couple of weeks in 1977 I had boogie fever.
21. I, too, thought Abe Vigoda was dead.
22. I like grape jelly and garlic bologna sandwiches.
23. The tabloids have been trying for years to link me with Madonna.
24. I am a Grobanite.
25. I used to just assume Hannah Montana was Joe Montana's daughter.
How can you resist? Come join us on Facebook. If you haven’t already had just about enough of my non-stop drivel, look me up when you get there for hours of “entertainment.”
We’re waiting for you…