I am happy that Paula Abdul is no long on “American Idol.”
There. That was easy. Within about five seconds of my asking myself, “why should I be happy?” I came up with a great reason. One of my favorite shows (scoff if you must, “American Idol” has all the excitement and emotion you could reasonably expect in a reality show) no longer makes me sit through long and incoherent critiques of burgeoning musicians twice a week from January through April by Ms. Abdul.
Happiness…it is all I am asking for the remainder of my days.
Happiness.
Happiness seems to be more elusive than I would have imagined. As I’ve mentioned, I spend some time on Facebook, and a few hundred people’s random thoughts scrolling through my “live feed.”
So many seem to be unhappy every day of his or her life.
I am happy that I was not born in Haiti.
I have people who are close to me who are unhappy way too much. I go on ad nauseam about how an unhappy minute is a wasted minute.
Everyone has adversity in his or her life. It is how quickly you shake it off and move on that can be the deal-breaker on living an awesome life. Of course, the older a person gets, the more that person thinks about those things. I can’t waste my life on being unhappy. Every time I see an “I hate my life” post, I fight the urge to intervene…despite the fact that it is probably none of my business.
I am happy that Minnesota downhill skiing Olympian Lindsey Vonn posed in a swimsuit for Sports Illustrated.
I always preach that you can’t count on your friends or your family or your hair stylist or your cat (well, maybe your cat) for your own happiness. You can only count on yourself. Your day…or week…or life…is what you make of it.
Some days are diamonds and some days are horse manure. You can’t change that. Sometimes you have to dig through a little horse manure before you can find that diamond…and unfortunately, more often than not, you’ll never find the diamond.
If you expend much of your energy on making yourself happy, what you get from others is just gravy, baby.
I am happy when I think about gravy.
I haven’t perfected my theory yet. I still let people bring me down once in awhile, but I do my best to fix the problem quickly and move on. We’ve all had people try to steal our happiness at some point in our lives. Sometimes it is intentional and life-changing…won’t mention any names…but usually it is unintentional, and we tend to make it a bigger deal than it really is. Sometimes people leave us for reasons we don’t understand, and sometimes people are taken from us before their time, for reasons we don’t understand.
I am happy I don’t have cancer.
Unhappiness seems to strike the young and the old more readily. Everything in many a young person’s life is played out with steep mountains and deep valleys. OMG!!! I THINK HE LIKES ME! OMG!!! MY HEART IS BROKEN!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!! WHY IS MILEY CYRUS SUCH A SLUT???!!! I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! I HATE THAT SCHOOL IS CLOSED AGAIN TOMORROW…WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO SNOW!!! OMG TAYLOR LAUTNER IS CUTE!!!
Of course old people’s version of this would be something like, “get off my lawn you rotten kids!...” or “I ordered these eggs over easy!!!” or “Obama is a Nazi.”
I am happy with the feeling I get when my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I’m sure I’ve had my drama queen moments in my life, but I’m doing my best to curtail my future unhappiness. I refuse to grow into an unhappy old man…and if that annoys some of you…I’m not sorry.
Need a dose of happiness right now? Here, for those of you old enough to have seen the movie “The Jerk,” I’d like to remind you of one of my favorite movie quotes…
Well I'm gonna go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't
need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle ball game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball game. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
Oh, I forgot to mention you have to picture Steve Martin saying this with his pants around his ankles.
Never saw the movie? Go to iTunes and download The Beatles’ “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.” If that bouncy little song doesn’t just naturally elevate your mood, then you should seek professional help.
It’s easy to make yourself happy.
Research says (yeah, like anyone is going to check my sources) that it actually takes less effort and is easier on your body to be happy. It even has healing powers. Look at me…I’m proof that laughter keeps you healthy! (Don’t tell Aetna I said that.)
We’re in times when it seems like the entire country is angry and pointing fingers and shouting.
Dial it down a couple of notches for Heaven’s sake.
I am happy there is a Charlize Theron…and you would be too if you just saw the picture that came up when I Googled her name to make sure it was spelled correctly.
If you promise to be a little nicer to everyone in the future, I won’t print the words to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” here…although sorry I just put the song in your head.
Over half my life is most certainly gone, and by golly I plan on making the best of what’s left.
And all I need is a daily dose of happiness…oh, and well, I need my remote control.
But that’s all I need… :)
There. That was easy. Within about five seconds of my asking myself, “why should I be happy?” I came up with a great reason. One of my favorite shows (scoff if you must, “American Idol” has all the excitement and emotion you could reasonably expect in a reality show) no longer makes me sit through long and incoherent critiques of burgeoning musicians twice a week from January through April by Ms. Abdul.
Happiness…it is all I am asking for the remainder of my days.
Happiness.
Happiness seems to be more elusive than I would have imagined. As I’ve mentioned, I spend some time on Facebook, and a few hundred people’s random thoughts scrolling through my “live feed.”
So many seem to be unhappy every day of his or her life.
I am happy that I was not born in Haiti.
I have people who are close to me who are unhappy way too much. I go on ad nauseam about how an unhappy minute is a wasted minute.
Everyone has adversity in his or her life. It is how quickly you shake it off and move on that can be the deal-breaker on living an awesome life. Of course, the older a person gets, the more that person thinks about those things. I can’t waste my life on being unhappy. Every time I see an “I hate my life” post, I fight the urge to intervene…despite the fact that it is probably none of my business.
I am happy that Minnesota downhill skiing Olympian Lindsey Vonn posed in a swimsuit for Sports Illustrated.
I always preach that you can’t count on your friends or your family or your hair stylist or your cat (well, maybe your cat) for your own happiness. You can only count on yourself. Your day…or week…or life…is what you make of it.
Some days are diamonds and some days are horse manure. You can’t change that. Sometimes you have to dig through a little horse manure before you can find that diamond…and unfortunately, more often than not, you’ll never find the diamond.
If you expend much of your energy on making yourself happy, what you get from others is just gravy, baby.
I am happy when I think about gravy.
I haven’t perfected my theory yet. I still let people bring me down once in awhile, but I do my best to fix the problem quickly and move on. We’ve all had people try to steal our happiness at some point in our lives. Sometimes it is intentional and life-changing…won’t mention any names…but usually it is unintentional, and we tend to make it a bigger deal than it really is. Sometimes people leave us for reasons we don’t understand, and sometimes people are taken from us before their time, for reasons we don’t understand.
I am happy I don’t have cancer.
Unhappiness seems to strike the young and the old more readily. Everything in many a young person’s life is played out with steep mountains and deep valleys. OMG!!! I THINK HE LIKES ME! OMG!!! MY HEART IS BROKEN!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!! WHY IS MILEY CYRUS SUCH A SLUT???!!! I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! I HATE THAT SCHOOL IS CLOSED AGAIN TOMORROW…WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO SNOW!!! OMG TAYLOR LAUTNER IS CUTE!!!
Of course old people’s version of this would be something like, “get off my lawn you rotten kids!...” or “I ordered these eggs over easy!!!” or “Obama is a Nazi.”
I am happy with the feeling I get when my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I’m sure I’ve had my drama queen moments in my life, but I’m doing my best to curtail my future unhappiness. I refuse to grow into an unhappy old man…and if that annoys some of you…I’m not sorry.
Need a dose of happiness right now? Here, for those of you old enough to have seen the movie “The Jerk,” I’d like to remind you of one of my favorite movie quotes…
Well I'm gonna go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't
need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle ball game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball game. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
Oh, I forgot to mention you have to picture Steve Martin saying this with his pants around his ankles.
Never saw the movie? Go to iTunes and download The Beatles’ “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.” If that bouncy little song doesn’t just naturally elevate your mood, then you should seek professional help.
It’s easy to make yourself happy.
Research says (yeah, like anyone is going to check my sources) that it actually takes less effort and is easier on your body to be happy. It even has healing powers. Look at me…I’m proof that laughter keeps you healthy! (Don’t tell Aetna I said that.)
We’re in times when it seems like the entire country is angry and pointing fingers and shouting.
Dial it down a couple of notches for Heaven’s sake.
I am happy there is a Charlize Theron…and you would be too if you just saw the picture that came up when I Googled her name to make sure it was spelled correctly.
If you promise to be a little nicer to everyone in the future, I won’t print the words to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” here…although sorry I just put the song in your head.
Over half my life is most certainly gone, and by golly I plan on making the best of what’s left.
And all I need is a daily dose of happiness…oh, and well, I need my remote control.
But that’s all I need… :)
Posts
digging through manure for a diamond.. like Sven throwing all his money down the outhouse hole.. Ole, vhy youse doin' that? Sven cause I dropped a nickel and I'm not going down there for just a nickel! mt anon1
ReplyDeleteSteve Martin.. who would have known he set off a nationwide craze.. years before it's time.. pants on the ground.. luckily the 5 minutes of fame is buried with the pet rock. I google Charlize too.. and came across the Danish girl movie with Kidman. thanks. and btw.. I've stolen your adversity quote for my profile.. with proper referencing to avoid another expensive plagerism lawsuit..ha.. anon and mike t out 4 more
ReplyDeleteGreat Off The Mark! I am tired also of all the people who are never happy and are always trying to take someone with them. No I am not excited about the snow but it could be worse. I try not to spend my life waiting for the next episode to happen. Keep up the great work and keep pushing us into reality even if we don't want to go there :). I like both of these quotes and who knows may be I have stole them from you. Keep writing :)
ReplyDelete"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.