In last week’s blog, I discussed some of the issues involved in directing six women in a play at the Lake Benton Opera House. I wrapped it up with my Top Ten Comments You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Cast. As it turns out, after the ladies read my blog last week, I was told in no short order that I had to offer equal time this week. When they say “jump,” I dutifully utter the question, “how high?” Of course, most of you won’t get these inside jokes, but if it makes my divas feel better, they can write my blog this week. That being said, here—directly from the cast of “Delval Divas,” (opening October 2 at the Opera House) are the Top Fifteen Comments You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Director…
15. Apparently the root canal you had today also removed your funny bone?
14. Neurotic does NOT mean Angry!
13. No one in the audience wants to see your butt!
12. You can "act" like you are drinking wine, but I don't advise that you actually drink alcohol onstage.
11. Do not look at the person you are speaking to, regardless of what you were taught about good communication skills.
10. Could you totally change everything you have been doing so far and "act" neurotic? By the way...we open in one week!
9. It's Diverticulitis NOT Diverticulosis...there IS a difference!
8. Could you please do a better job of enunciating “statistically significant occurrence in the rise of malignant melanoma"?
7. I'm thinking it would be funny to give the "large" girl the part that involves exercising on stage instead of eating. Maybe NOW she'll get the hint.
6. Don't just sit there, get up and walk around, do something like you would at home.
5. Wear whatever you want but you don't have to wear jammies just because it's late at night.
4. No more prompting lines from the script, if you forget your lines, get yourself out of it.
3. Right there! That is the spot you ALWAYS MISS".
2. Don't pay any attention to the good lookin' fella in the sound booth. He's not eye candy, he has FEELINGS. (Submitted by the guy in the sound booth.)
And the number one Comment You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Director…
1. Sorry, the budget doesn't allow for another box of Kleenex, just use your sleeve.
I should mention that there are some comments they don’t want to hear from the director that they have yet to even know about. Here, I add the Top Three Comments We Haven’t Heard, Yet Still May Hear From Our Director…
3. Wait until you see what I wrote about you in the programs.
2. Yeah…Becky and Beth…I’m thinking about you two switching parts.
1. Whatever you do, DON’T look in the sound booth. He’s naked again.
***
For those of you in the Tyler area, the promotions committee will be providing a free family fun night on Saturday night (Sept. 26) at the fairgrounds (weather permitting). Free admission, free popcorn and free pop. The movie will start shortly after 8:00 PM. “The Soloist” starring Robert Downy Jr. and Jamie Foxx will be showing. Bring your own chair or blanket and probably a coat.
15. Apparently the root canal you had today also removed your funny bone?
14. Neurotic does NOT mean Angry!
13. No one in the audience wants to see your butt!
12. You can "act" like you are drinking wine, but I don't advise that you actually drink alcohol onstage.
11. Do not look at the person you are speaking to, regardless of what you were taught about good communication skills.
10. Could you totally change everything you have been doing so far and "act" neurotic? By the way...we open in one week!
9. It's Diverticulitis NOT Diverticulosis...there IS a difference!
8. Could you please do a better job of enunciating “statistically significant occurrence in the rise of malignant melanoma"?
7. I'm thinking it would be funny to give the "large" girl the part that involves exercising on stage instead of eating. Maybe NOW she'll get the hint.
6. Don't just sit there, get up and walk around, do something like you would at home.
5. Wear whatever you want but you don't have to wear jammies just because it's late at night.
4. No more prompting lines from the script, if you forget your lines, get yourself out of it.
3. Right there! That is the spot you ALWAYS MISS".
2. Don't pay any attention to the good lookin' fella in the sound booth. He's not eye candy, he has FEELINGS. (Submitted by the guy in the sound booth.)
And the number one Comment You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Director…
1. Sorry, the budget doesn't allow for another box of Kleenex, just use your sleeve.
I should mention that there are some comments they don’t want to hear from the director that they have yet to even know about. Here, I add the Top Three Comments We Haven’t Heard, Yet Still May Hear From Our Director…
3. Wait until you see what I wrote about you in the programs.
2. Yeah…Becky and Beth…I’m thinking about you two switching parts.
1. Whatever you do, DON’T look in the sound booth. He’s naked again.
***
For those of you in the Tyler area, the promotions committee will be providing a free family fun night on Saturday night (Sept. 26) at the fairgrounds (weather permitting). Free admission, free popcorn and free pop. The movie will start shortly after 8:00 PM. “The Soloist” starring Robert Downy Jr. and Jamie Foxx will be showing. Bring your own chair or blanket and probably a coat.
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