For those of you who may have stumbled on last week’s blog…no, I didn’t hear a thing from Conan O’Brien on Tuesday. Apparently he has no problem keeping all that money for himself. I did, however, have a birthday that I will remember for many years. For the first time in 52 birthdays, I rang in my birthday stranded in a cornfield south of Chandler. As a matter of fact, I spent the first 10 hours of my 52nd birthday stranded in a cornfield south of Chandler.
Thankfully, that cornfield houses the building I’ve worked in since last March, so I was warm. Not wanting to look like a girlie-man, I waffled on whether or not to head home early with the high winds and blowing and drifting snow on Monday morning. I waffled a bit too long though, and ended up getting stranded at the office until 10:00 AM on Tuesday...my birthday.
Working in a building that lies in the middle of a cornfield isn’t normally a big issue. There are drawbacks. The wind seems as though it never stops and it always seems to run about 10 miles per hour higher than any other location at which my time is spent. Considering I’m working in the wind industry and we are located at a site with 137 turbines, my suspicions are probably valid.
It gets a bit more difficult, however, in bad weather. Eventually it gets to a point where nobody is able to get in or out of our location. So if all you brought to work were the clothes you are wearing, then all you will have until you leave are the clothes you are wearing. You can’t run across the street to order take-out.
As it turned out, I waited too long, and by the time I thought it was probably time to make a run for it to get back to Tyler, the DOT closed all the highways. It seemed that I would be at the office until further notice. Fortunately for the 10-12 of us who were going to be stranded, the last person who made it in on Monday brought four large pizzas.
All meat…my favorite.
Our building is always manned 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Usually, however, we let people go home every 12 hours or so…if they can get there.
As long as I was stuck there anyway, I put in a 12-hour day (which would be a short day if I were still working in the newspaper business) before clocking out. I had delusions for awhile that the wind would stop blowing and I would head home before midnight, but the wind didn’t subside until early Tuesday. Full of pizza and wielding a bag of microwave popcorn, I settled into the conference room and a few of us enjoyed watching movies until sometime after midnight.
Yes, I got to follow up my favorite pizza with my favorite pastime while munching on my favorite snack. Things could have been worse.
Unfortunately things did get worse, as soon as I attempted to get some sleep. Unlike the “Center for Wind Energy,” or whatever it is called, up by Hendricks, our building isn’t equipped with four hotel rooms. We have two choices for sleeping…office chair or tile floor.
I tried both, without much success with either. My attempt to sleep in my office chair at about 1:30 AM failed after about two hours. I then hit the floor, lying on a thin fleece blanket and using my coat as a pillow. This lasted for a half hour before I gave up. The next half hour I spent trying to get up off the floor with my gimpy knee. Picture a manatee attempting to do ballet…it wasn’t pretty.
When I finally was able to scale the side of a desk and plop back into my office chair it was 4:00. I remember checking my cell phone clock at 4:30, and don’t remember much after that until my cell phone alarm rang at 5:45 AM.
I swiped my card through the time clock at 6:00 AM and began another work day. Happy Birthday to me.
The view outside after sunrise was remarkable. It looked like one of those documentaries on Antarctica that they show on The Learning Channel…with the exception of a few protrusions that appeared to be vehicles rising out of the snow banks.
Finally, by 10:00, enough of the snow in the parking lot was removed so that I could snake my way back to County Highway 1, and make my way home.
Once I got home, I took a quick tour of my driveway with my snow blower, had a little lunch, and me and Joe the Cat headed to the bedroom for what we thought was going to be a long winter’s nap. Over the next three hours, I was reminded of how much our phone rings while we are at work during the day. At about 3:30 I gave up, leaving Joe the Snooze to sleep by himself under the blankets.
I somehow stayed awake through our previously scheduled birthday dinner and a movie on Tuesday night, and was back in bed by 11:00.
I was still apparently recuperating this morning (Thursday), as I overslept by about 45 minutes.
After being quite vocal in the past about my affinity for winter weather, I’m guessing there will be some of you out there who will enjoy the fact that I spent part of my birthday in a cornfield. Go ahead, I probably have it coming.
A little piece of advice, though, if any of you find yourself in a similar position…
Pizza and movies makes everything better.
Even in a cornfield in Antarctica…
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A half century, plus two...
Here we are again. It is hard to believe it is already time for my annual birthday blog. It seems like it was only yesterday that I was whining about turning 40. What a silly young man I was… Hopefully, eight years from now I’ll be looking back and chuckling at how I was whining about turning 52 back in 2010.
Usually, after I whine about how old I am, I encourage people to send me gifts. This has never worked out so well, but maybe this year Conan O’Brien will stumble across my blog and be motivated to send me a little something with the extra cash he has lying around.
Sorry, back to whining about my age…
Reading the Minneapolis Star-Tribune this week, I was shocked to read that it has be 33 YEARS SINCE THE VIKINGS WERE IN A SUPER BOWL!!! That cannot possibly be. I watched that game. And to make matters worse, I remember watching the three they participated in before that one!!!!!
All the things I struggle to remember in my life, and I can't seem to shake the memory of those heartaches.
Most of the items in my growing catalog of age-related issues, however, are exacerbated by the amount of weight I carry. Since an October Camden State Park photo shoot I’ve been hobbling around on a sore knee. Finally, in the past few days I’ve been able to navigate without the cane. I’ve been probably 90% cane-free. The diagnosis was a Baker’s cyst—a small balloon of joint gunk leakage on the back side of my knee.
Of course Dr. Snow has a lot bigger words he uses when describing it.
The bottom line is that a cortisone-ish cocktail injected into the cyst a month ago has helped relieve the pain significantly, which in turn should enable me to return soon to my nightly jazzercise sessions. (Wow...Microsoft Word, as I type this, actually recognizes “jazzercise” as a word.)
I also require way too many drugs to keep me alive. Considering the number of trips I make to the back end of Thrifty White Drug in Tyler, you would think I would be burning calories faster than I can consume them.
I guess not.
I can not, however, complain with too much conviction. I have a very good life. I am surrounded by a great family and many very loyal friends (albeit not so loyal that I get birthday gifts from them annually), as well as a job with a company that treats me quite well.
I’m thankful also that I don’t recall ever walking around with my cap on sideways and my pants on the ground…an affliction of the very young and, I would assume, the very old. For those of you who don’t get the “pants on the ground reference,” ask your kids about it…or at the very least, ask someone as young as me.
I am also experiencing elevated levels of joy over the current football season…but I won’t tempt fate by discussing it until after Sunday night.
Just when I think I can’t possibly have any more joy in my life, I find out I can get 10% off hotel rooms with my AARP card.
Yeah, my life is pretty good despite the fact that it is flying by at a break-neck pace. Before I know it, I’ll be bragging about how good my life is at 82—probably to my 92-year-old sister.
In the meantime, no matter how good life is for me at 52, there’s always room for more bliss…so Conan, if you are reading, I like movies and music. A simple gift card would be a great place to start. (PO Box 89, Tyler, MN 56178)
Usually, after I whine about how old I am, I encourage people to send me gifts. This has never worked out so well, but maybe this year Conan O’Brien will stumble across my blog and be motivated to send me a little something with the extra cash he has lying around.
Sorry, back to whining about my age…
Reading the Minneapolis Star-Tribune this week, I was shocked to read that it has be 33 YEARS SINCE THE VIKINGS WERE IN A SUPER BOWL!!! That cannot possibly be. I watched that game. And to make matters worse, I remember watching the three they participated in before that one!!!!!
All the things I struggle to remember in my life, and I can't seem to shake the memory of those heartaches.
Most of the items in my growing catalog of age-related issues, however, are exacerbated by the amount of weight I carry. Since an October Camden State Park photo shoot I’ve been hobbling around on a sore knee. Finally, in the past few days I’ve been able to navigate without the cane. I’ve been probably 90% cane-free. The diagnosis was a Baker’s cyst—a small balloon of joint gunk leakage on the back side of my knee.
Of course Dr. Snow has a lot bigger words he uses when describing it.
The bottom line is that a cortisone-ish cocktail injected into the cyst a month ago has helped relieve the pain significantly, which in turn should enable me to return soon to my nightly jazzercise sessions. (Wow...Microsoft Word, as I type this, actually recognizes “jazzercise” as a word.)
I also require way too many drugs to keep me alive. Considering the number of trips I make to the back end of Thrifty White Drug in Tyler, you would think I would be burning calories faster than I can consume them.
I guess not.
I can not, however, complain with too much conviction. I have a very good life. I am surrounded by a great family and many very loyal friends (albeit not so loyal that I get birthday gifts from them annually), as well as a job with a company that treats me quite well.
I’m thankful also that I don’t recall ever walking around with my cap on sideways and my pants on the ground…an affliction of the very young and, I would assume, the very old. For those of you who don’t get the “pants on the ground reference,” ask your kids about it…or at the very least, ask someone as young as me.
I am also experiencing elevated levels of joy over the current football season…but I won’t tempt fate by discussing it until after Sunday night.
Just when I think I can’t possibly have any more joy in my life, I find out I can get 10% off hotel rooms with my AARP card.
Yeah, my life is pretty good despite the fact that it is flying by at a break-neck pace. Before I know it, I’ll be bragging about how good my life is at 82—probably to my 92-year-old sister.
In the meantime, no matter how good life is for me at 52, there’s always room for more bliss…so Conan, if you are reading, I like movies and music. A simple gift card would be a great place to start. (PO Box 89, Tyler, MN 56178)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Not bored...
Finally, in the fifth decade of my life, I am learning to appreciate the month of January. I used to think that the month was worthless, and other than one day at the end of the month when I would get presents each year just for turning a year older, the month could have just as well be stricken from the calendar. Half way through January, 2010, however, I’ve discovered an appreciation for the coldest month.
January still has its issues. Most noticeable is the fact that it has turned my 45-minute commute to the office into a one-hour drive, minimum. Weather drawback #2 would be a cursed wind chill that at times can suck the air right out of you.
Then there is the reality that the excitement of the holidays have passed, coupled with the arrival of the December credit card bill. This can be survived also, but it requires making sure Kathy (a.k.a. Oh-My-God-We-Are-Destitute-Nelly) is sitting down when she opens the MasterCard bill.
Here in 2010, however, I’ve learned to appreciate the post-holiday lull, and now that I’m no longer in the newspaper business, I even get to stay home in the evenings. At the height of the craziness, I would have my choice of 18 basketball games in which a Lincoln County basketball team was participating, as well as an assortment of school board and city council meetings.
Now, however, I only head out in the evenings when it is MY choice, and that is usually only when the temperature is above 20.
The rat race has slowed to a crawl.
Being an active Facebook participant, I am always amused by the number of “I’m bored” posts by young people on my live feed. These posts appear daily, but increase exponentially on, say, the second consecutive snow day off from school. I distinctly remember school snow days from 40 years ago. There was the anticipation of hearing the WCCO announcer giving the list of school closings and the agony of listening through the alphabetical listings before finally hearing the magical words, “Russell, two hours late.” One particular January…I believe it was either 1968 or 1969…this announcement was always followed with “Russell, closed.” That year we might have made it to school three or four days in January, and they sent us home early a couple of THOSE days.
I don’t recall ever, during any of those many snow days, experiencing boredom. I was usually too excited about the prospects for the day to even permit myself to go back to sleep.
There were games to play, puzzles to assemble and usually a round or two of Canasta or Scrabble with Mom. Once the snow and wind subsided, there was a natural amusement park outside our door. There were a host of activities to keep a kid busy, from snow forts to snowmen, but nothing more fun than grabbing a sled and heading across the road from our house to the giant hill in Mr. Hively’s field. Ten minutes of climbing to the top of what seemed like a mountain would be rewarded with the fastest trip you could imagine on a plastic “flying saucer”…even if nine times out of ten you found yourself upside down at the bottom of the hill.
Midday, we would trudge back in and lay our socks and mittens on top of the heater (where these items would acquire a stinky, burnt smell), fill up with a hot meal and then head out for round two in the afternoon, smelling of burnt, slightly wet yarn.
We hardly noticed the cold, and if we were lucky, the red in our cheeks might have faded by the time we crawled into bed, where we would drift off to sleep hoping that WCCO would once again make our school famous the next morning.
Bored? It wasn’t part of the lexicon.
When all those other activities were exhausted, there was always reading. In those days I would read books about Fran Tarkenton or Bart Starr or Harmon Killebrew, but the choices were nearly unlimited, and today the choices are even greater. Kids! Open a freaking book!!!
Today, with the onset of middle age, I’ve realized that I can actually have too much fun lined up, and have had to scale back my magazine subscriptions from an unwieldy seven or eight to a more manageable three. This has freed up some of my precious reading time for catching up on my Stephen King addiction. Mr. King can write books faster than I can consume them. I have probably read around 35 of his novels and collections of short stories, but that still leaves me 10-12 books behind. Last week I was able to start “Wolves of the Calla,” which was written several years ago.
So, this year I am embracing the slower pace that January brings me…a pace that I am hoping lingers well into February.
You youngsters (look at me sounding like an old person), before your next “I’m bored” update, think about making a trip to your local library.
And starting today, I believe I have come up with the perfect daily status update for my Facebook page…
“Not bored.”
January still has its issues. Most noticeable is the fact that it has turned my 45-minute commute to the office into a one-hour drive, minimum. Weather drawback #2 would be a cursed wind chill that at times can suck the air right out of you.
Then there is the reality that the excitement of the holidays have passed, coupled with the arrival of the December credit card bill. This can be survived also, but it requires making sure Kathy (a.k.a. Oh-My-God-We-Are-Destitute-Nelly) is sitting down when she opens the MasterCard bill.
Here in 2010, however, I’ve learned to appreciate the post-holiday lull, and now that I’m no longer in the newspaper business, I even get to stay home in the evenings. At the height of the craziness, I would have my choice of 18 basketball games in which a Lincoln County basketball team was participating, as well as an assortment of school board and city council meetings.
Now, however, I only head out in the evenings when it is MY choice, and that is usually only when the temperature is above 20.
The rat race has slowed to a crawl.
Being an active Facebook participant, I am always amused by the number of “I’m bored” posts by young people on my live feed. These posts appear daily, but increase exponentially on, say, the second consecutive snow day off from school. I distinctly remember school snow days from 40 years ago. There was the anticipation of hearing the WCCO announcer giving the list of school closings and the agony of listening through the alphabetical listings before finally hearing the magical words, “Russell, two hours late.” One particular January…I believe it was either 1968 or 1969…this announcement was always followed with “Russell, closed.” That year we might have made it to school three or four days in January, and they sent us home early a couple of THOSE days.
I don’t recall ever, during any of those many snow days, experiencing boredom. I was usually too excited about the prospects for the day to even permit myself to go back to sleep.
There were games to play, puzzles to assemble and usually a round or two of Canasta or Scrabble with Mom. Once the snow and wind subsided, there was a natural amusement park outside our door. There were a host of activities to keep a kid busy, from snow forts to snowmen, but nothing more fun than grabbing a sled and heading across the road from our house to the giant hill in Mr. Hively’s field. Ten minutes of climbing to the top of what seemed like a mountain would be rewarded with the fastest trip you could imagine on a plastic “flying saucer”…even if nine times out of ten you found yourself upside down at the bottom of the hill.
Midday, we would trudge back in and lay our socks and mittens on top of the heater (where these items would acquire a stinky, burnt smell), fill up with a hot meal and then head out for round two in the afternoon, smelling of burnt, slightly wet yarn.
We hardly noticed the cold, and if we were lucky, the red in our cheeks might have faded by the time we crawled into bed, where we would drift off to sleep hoping that WCCO would once again make our school famous the next morning.
Bored? It wasn’t part of the lexicon.
When all those other activities were exhausted, there was always reading. In those days I would read books about Fran Tarkenton or Bart Starr or Harmon Killebrew, but the choices were nearly unlimited, and today the choices are even greater. Kids! Open a freaking book!!!
Today, with the onset of middle age, I’ve realized that I can actually have too much fun lined up, and have had to scale back my magazine subscriptions from an unwieldy seven or eight to a more manageable three. This has freed up some of my precious reading time for catching up on my Stephen King addiction. Mr. King can write books faster than I can consume them. I have probably read around 35 of his novels and collections of short stories, but that still leaves me 10-12 books behind. Last week I was able to start “Wolves of the Calla,” which was written several years ago.
So, this year I am embracing the slower pace that January brings me…a pace that I am hoping lingers well into February.
You youngsters (look at me sounding like an old person), before your next “I’m bored” update, think about making a trip to your local library.
And starting today, I believe I have come up with the perfect daily status update for my Facebook page…
“Not bored.”
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
You can count on it…
I know you’ve all been waiting for it, and just because I don’t work for a newspaper any more, doesn’t mean I can’t bring you my bold Predictions For 2010!!! OK, I’m no Amazing Kreskin, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. I actually went to www.amazingkreskin.com, just to see what HE was predicting for 2010. All I found was a blank blue page. If he was trying to connect with me telekinetically, I wasn’t receiving anything. This was just reinforcing what I’ve been telling Kathy for years…I can’t read minds.
The only other psychic I could think of was Jeanne Dixon: Psychic to the Stars, but I found out she died of cardiac arrest in 1997. Rumor has it her last words were, “whoa, I didn’t see that coming!”
So with no help from a real psychic, and without further ado, I give you my Ten Bold Predictions For The Coming Year.
Thank me in December…
1. Syndicated television program Entertainment Tonight will uncover shocking news about Michael Jackson’s death.
2. Tiger Woods will put away his putter and go back to playing golf.
3. Katie Couric will be granted another interview with Sarah Palin, during which Palin will admit she doesn’t really know what the term "going rouge" means, but she can split open an elk from top to bottom with one arm tied behind her back, reaffirming her credentials for a presidential run.
4. The Twins home opener at Target Field will be delayed two hours due to a winter weather advisory.
5. Governor Pawlenty will continue to make appearances throughout the country while not running for president.
6. Brett Favre will break a hip during the third quarter of the NFC Championship game, but will bark incredulously at Coach Childress on the sidelines when Chilly suggests Brett comes out of the game.
7. Fox News entertainer Glenn Beck will uncover a covert plan by the Obama administration to change the sky from blue to green, spurring an impromptu tea party on the Potomac.
8. The Minnesota Twins will win the World Series. (One of these years this prediction will actually be correct.)
9. It will be revealed that Paula Abdul’s defection from American Idol was actually predicted by Nostradomus.
10. Nobody will remember any of these predictions by March.
The only other psychic I could think of was Jeanne Dixon: Psychic to the Stars, but I found out she died of cardiac arrest in 1997. Rumor has it her last words were, “whoa, I didn’t see that coming!”
So with no help from a real psychic, and without further ado, I give you my Ten Bold Predictions For The Coming Year.
Thank me in December…
1. Syndicated television program Entertainment Tonight will uncover shocking news about Michael Jackson’s death.
2. Tiger Woods will put away his putter and go back to playing golf.
3. Katie Couric will be granted another interview with Sarah Palin, during which Palin will admit she doesn’t really know what the term "going rouge" means, but she can split open an elk from top to bottom with one arm tied behind her back, reaffirming her credentials for a presidential run.
4. The Twins home opener at Target Field will be delayed two hours due to a winter weather advisory.
5. Governor Pawlenty will continue to make appearances throughout the country while not running for president.
6. Brett Favre will break a hip during the third quarter of the NFC Championship game, but will bark incredulously at Coach Childress on the sidelines when Chilly suggests Brett comes out of the game.
7. Fox News entertainer Glenn Beck will uncover a covert plan by the Obama administration to change the sky from blue to green, spurring an impromptu tea party on the Potomac.
8. The Minnesota Twins will win the World Series. (One of these years this prediction will actually be correct.)
9. It will be revealed that Paula Abdul’s defection from American Idol was actually predicted by Nostradomus.
10. Nobody will remember any of these predictions by March.
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