I know you’ve all been waiting for it, and just because I don’t work for a newspaper any more, doesn’t mean I can’t bring you my bold Predictions For 2010!!! OK, I’m no Amazing Kreskin, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. I actually went to www.amazingkreskin.com, just to see what HE was predicting for 2010. All I found was a blank blue page. If he was trying to connect with me telekinetically, I wasn’t receiving anything. This was just reinforcing what I’ve been telling Kathy for years…I can’t read minds.
The only other psychic I could think of was Jeanne Dixon: Psychic to the Stars, but I found out she died of cardiac arrest in 1997. Rumor has it her last words were, “whoa, I didn’t see that coming!”
So with no help from a real psychic, and without further ado, I give you my Ten Bold Predictions For The Coming Year.
Thank me in December…
1. Syndicated television program Entertainment Tonight will uncover shocking news about Michael Jackson’s death.
2. Tiger Woods will put away his putter and go back to playing golf.
3. Katie Couric will be granted another interview with Sarah Palin, during which Palin will admit she doesn’t really know what the term "going rouge" means, but she can split open an elk from top to bottom with one arm tied behind her back, reaffirming her credentials for a presidential run.
4. The Twins home opener at Target Field will be delayed two hours due to a winter weather advisory.
5. Governor Pawlenty will continue to make appearances throughout the country while not running for president.
6. Brett Favre will break a hip during the third quarter of the NFC Championship game, but will bark incredulously at Coach Childress on the sidelines when Chilly suggests Brett comes out of the game.
7. Fox News entertainer Glenn Beck will uncover a covert plan by the Obama administration to change the sky from blue to green, spurring an impromptu tea party on the Potomac.
8. The Minnesota Twins will win the World Series. (One of these years this prediction will actually be correct.)
9. It will be revealed that Paula Abdul’s defection from American Idol was actually predicted by Nostradomus.
10. Nobody will remember any of these predictions by March.
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ReplyDeleteok.. anonymous Mike Thompson likes/laughs at your predictions. I wish I had a better Tiger joke but I have my tail between my legs (like Tiger should have).. the twins won in 87 and 91.. two more times than the vikes and t-wolves will ever win the big one. any predictions for Adrian Peterson, Adrian Minnesota, Rushford Peterson or Pete Peterson from Minneota who played Adrian in the dome... I need a dome dog.. that hurt. is there a good chance the snow in tyler will stay around for next Christmas. well.. the short attention span of a nearly 50 year old is waning.. not like Wayne Rons, Wayne Pearson or Wayne State..(did I make that place up.. is it near Ball State)?
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