Willing to sacrifice for the good of mankind

I recently read a story online about how horrible winning millions of dollars in the lottery can be for certain individuals. The story told of eight lottery winners over the past 20 years who are now without a dime, or worse.
The story told of one woman in New Jersey who won the lottery twice, a total of over $5 million. She now lives in a trailer house without any money left. She told the reporter that “everybody wanted her money,” from relatives to friends to strangers. Oh, and she liked to spend some time at the slot machines in Atlantic City. Another gentleman won $1 million and proceeded to buy helicopters and ride in limos. His lawyer added that he spent the rest on a divorce and crack cocaine.
One family won over $4 million and went broke after buying a large home and they succumbed to repeated requests to help relatives get out of debt.
There were many stories of gambling or drugs or risky “overseas investment opportunities.”
In nearly every story, there were problems with family and friends. The general rule, according to one expert, is you have choices:
1. You can keep your money while losing friends and alienating family,
or 2. Keep your friends and family happy by giving them your money.
Yikes!
The experts cited Sudden Money Syndrome as a recurring problem for lottery winners or those who suddenly find themselves inheriting large piles of cash.
From reading these stories, I also concluded that a frontal lobotomy must be mandatory before you can collect your money…and I concluded I would like to give it a shot. I would be interested in being a part of any project that would study the effects of sudden wealth upon an individual. I am willing to be that proverbial guinea pig, giving selflessly to help others with SMS in hopes that someday there will be a cure.
I’d like the experiment to start with $50 million. I don’t care where it comes from—it could be from the Powerball coffers or perhaps collected from you readers. Perhaps someone would like to spearhead that for me…???
I already have a plan. My first step would be to buy an obscure house up somewhere in the north woods. The path leading to the house would only be wide enough to allow one vehicle. The access to that path will be obscured by brush.
My hideout will be equipped with satellite TV and ultra high-speed internet.
My freezer will be filled with ground beef.
My fridge? Diet Dew.
My morning will start about 8:30 with a light breakfast. I’ll head to the exercise room, and will watch “Ellen” from the treadmill, although I won’t turn it on until she is done dancing. I’ll then retire to my study, where I will read the morning’s newspapers before switching to the computer for a few online newspapers. About noon I’ll stop for a lunch of…well…ground beef.
In the afternoon I’d field a few calls from friends and family to tell them they can’t have any of my money.
A couple of days a week I’d let Kathy visit.
She, of course, would have half of my fortune, so I’m thinking her schedule might not allow for two visits every week.
The rest of the afternoon I’d count my money.
I’d wrap that up in time for an evening meal of ground beef.
After supper I would retire to the Movie Room for some popcorn and a DVD or two.
Once a week I’d call the enXco office to tell them “no thanks, I won’t be flying anywhere in the near future.”
After the initial investment, my day-to-day expenses would be fairly reasonable. I’ll have my satellite and internet fees, some electricity and a pound or two of ground beef a day. I’d even have enough money left to hire a guy to stand outside the house and make sure nobody gets in.
So, the next time the University of Phoenix does a study on the effects of SMS on an average American (which I am, no matter WHAT Sarah Palin says), I’m here. I will make that ultimate sacrifice. The amount doesn’t really matter. We can start with $1 million and work our way up.
When it happens, watch this blog. I’ll be taking applications for The Guy Who Stands Outside My House.
A year or two down the road, if things work out really well, I’ll probably also be looking for The Guy Who Fries My Ground Beef. Then, who knows, maybe the Guy Who Walks On My Treadmill For Me.
I’ll be the model for lottery winners everywhere.Pick up the phone and give me a call—quick…I may have already alienated my family…