A case of the blind hanging the blinds

Yes, I am indeed still alive, despite what my blogging silence may have indicated.
It’s been a busy couple of weeks with Opera House tryouts for “Chicago” and the ensuing casting and rehearsal preparations. Rehearsals began Sunday evening and I’m thrilled with the quality of the cast. If anyone out there would like to join us, we are still looking for a few people who would like to dance in some of the group numbers…male or female. It is a great opportunity to be in one of the most successful musicals of all time, while making a few friendships that could very well last a lifetime. If not you, maybe you know of someone????
Outside the glitter of show business, some of our time at the Wilmes household over the past few weeks has been tied up in a home improvement project. By “some of our time,” of course I mean “way too much time.”
My lack of handyman skills has been well-documented over the years. I never did inherit my dad’s ability to fix stuff. If it can’t be duct taped, I’m probably screwed. Of course duct taping the new blinds in place wasn’t good enough for my fussy wife…even if I COULD have found matching white duct tape.
That left us with only one option: screws.
Unfortunately, we found out early in the project that the screws that came with these top-of-the-line blinds are made of something that approaches Play-Doh in terms of durability. My “stand back and let me handle this” machismo was soon quashed as I ruined the first five screws, either by stripping the wimpy Phillips grooves with the cordless drill or by snapping them in two.
While I have no doubt that Kathy was thinking I am a moron and the screw snafu was my fault, we found the job started going much smoother once we scrounged our drawers for higher quality screws. Of course, I was stripped of my cordless drill and with a “just get out of the way and let me do this” attitude, Kathy took over with a manual screwdriver. This was just as – I’m still convinced – the cordless drill would have worked just fine following the screw upgrade.
In an attempt to make the task even easier, we made the decision to drill holes in the window frame before attempting to install the bracket screws. The instructions recommended a 1/16” drill bit. Before the end of our first day of the project, I had snapped off two borrowed bits for which we would need to purchase replacements.
After upsizing to the 5/64 bit, things went a bit smoother. In the end, however, the project, from purchase to final installation was about two weeks in duration. We ended up installing nine sets of blinds. This required Kathy to manually screw in precisely 63 screws, giving her a right arm that is nearly Schwarzenegger-esque in girth. I think she may now be a bit “bustier” on the right side also.
The project took a lot longer than we expected. Certainly longer than the manufacturer’s claim on the outside of the box of “15-minute installation.”
We were duped.
What next? Well I’m now on to my next big project…trying to mow a lawn that has been wet for 10 days and has grown to astounding heights. I’m hoping to be done by Sunday.
Oh, and you won’t see Kathy for awhile. She hit the road in pursuit of the National Women’s Arm Wrestling Championship.
I think I’ll wait until she gets back to put up those new shutters on the outside of the house.
Should take her about 10 minutes…