We now pronounce you the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge…

Hello all! I have afforded myself a bit of a break from blogging over the past few weeks. I’ve been a bit too busy playing with my new kitty. To avoid, however, being labeled as a middle-aged kitty blogger, I will save my Torii update for a future subject.
This week, of course, there is much bigger news than the daily antics of my cat. The news, in fact, is bigger than anything else happening on the entire globe. If the news cycle is any indication, it is the biggest news of the year.
I speak, obviously, of the Royal Wedding. William (not Bill) and Kate (not Catherine) have finally tied the Royal Knot.
I don’t get the appeal. It must be a guy thing, because I don’t see what all the fuss is about. How, I wonder, can we experience any joy from the marriage of a couple of Brits when my Twins are sucking so badly? Shouldn’t we be in mourning?
Being a dedicated Facebook user, I noticed many of my online friends getting very excited about the event over the past few days. It ranged from cracking open a bottle of champagne at 4:00 AM to a sleepover party to watch the ceremony. Now that I think about it, they were all female posts. The men were a bit distracted by the first round of the NFL draft.
To me, even more astounding than the general obsession with the wedding, was the fuss over Kate’s dress...and the work that went into making it.
The dress was designed by a woman named Sarah Burton, who counts among her customers a range of people from Michelle Obama to Lady Gaga. There was no word if she was the genius behind Gaga’s meat dress.
The details of the wedding gown have been protected as Top Secret for months. Not even WikiLeaks could sniff out the information. There was even a tent put up to hide her until the last possible moment! Can you say “over-hyped”?
I saw pictures. It is long and white…yup that’s a wedding dress.
According to USA Today, the dress was a “lacy, long-sleeved, sweetheart-neckline gown with lace overlay. With an ivory silk tulle veil trimmed with hand-embroidered flowers, sparkling tiara (thankfully she didn’t go with the non-sparkling tiara) and her hair swept half up, Middleton was the picture of princess perfection. It took some adjusting to fold the almost-9-foot train into the car, where she was seated next to her father, Michael Middleton.”
Here is where it gets freaky:
“Great care was taken in constructing the lace, a task that went to the Royal School of Needlework. According to details posted on the official royal wedding website, ‘the workers washed their hands every 30 minutes to keep the lace and threads pristine, and the needles were renewed every three hours to keep them sharp and clean.’”
Talk about feeling inadequate as I sit here typing in my faded sweatpants and “Real Men Eat Cookies” t-shirt.
There was no mention in any of the stories I read, if the people making William’s jacket washed their hands.
I guess if there was an upside for me in seeing non-stop wedding news over the past few days it would be that we got a bit of a break from listening to Donald Trump. Although, not unlike Kate Middleton’s celebrated wedding dress, that hair of his (which coincidentally is “half swept up”) must also take quite a team to construct.
Sorry girls, the excitement is over and now all us mere mortals must return to our mundane lives where tents are used for keeping the mosquitoes away and the people making our clothing seldom wash their hands.
And most days the only thing we’re cracking open at 4:00 AM is the bottle of Pepto Bismol.